The Best Years Of Your Life may sound like the sort of title that belongs on a greeting card, a motivational poster, or perhaps a particularly optimistic retirement brochure. But what if the best years of your life aren’t necessarily the years behind you?
For many of us, getting older brings an unfortunate habit of looking backward.
We remember the days when we could stay up half the night and still function the next morning. We remember having more energy, fewer aches and pains, quicker reflexes and, if our memories are being especially kind to us, considerably better hair.
We remember vacations, first jobs, raising families, friendships, adventures and all those moments that seemed ordinary at the time but now seem remarkably precious.
And there is nothing wrong with remembering.
Our memories are one of the great privileges of growing older. We have something younger people simply don’t have: decades of experiences to draw upon.
The trick is not allowing those memories to become a place where we permanently live.
The Body Has Its Own Retirement Plan
Let’s be honest. Aging does have its limitations.
There comes a time when getting out of a chair requires a little more planning than it used to.
You may bend over to pick something up and suddenly wonder what else you can accomplish while you’re down there.
Stairs used to be something you simply climbed. Now you occasionally find yourself looking at a flight of stairs and thinking, “There must be another way.”
And then there is the mysterious phenomenon of making a noise every time you stand up.
Nobody taught us this. It just happens.
Somewhere along the way, the human body apparently decides that getting out of a chair should be accompanied by a small theatrical production.
Of course, none of this means we should surrender to aging.
Quite the opposite.
We should remain as active as our individual health and circumstances allow. Walking, exercising, eating sensibly, getting enough sleep and staying mentally engaged all matter.
But there is also something to be said for accepting reality with a smile.
We aren’t 25 anymore.
And frankly, that’s probably a good thing.
At 25, many of us had plenty of energy but considerably less wisdom. We could run up a flight of stairs without thinking about it, but we might also have made some spectacularly questionable decisions.
Age takes something away.
But it gives something back.
We Know Things Now
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One of the great advantages of getting older is that we have learned a few things.
We know that most disasters aren’t quite as disastrous as they seem at first.
We know that the opinion of someone who doesn’t like us is not necessarily a referendum on our character.
We know that some arguments simply aren’t worth having.
We know that replacing every item in the house with the latest version isn’t necessarily going to improve our lives.
And we have probably learned that saying, “I told you so,” while enormously satisfying, isn’t always conducive to domestic harmony.
Experience has a way of putting life into perspective.
When you’re younger, a bad day can feel like a catastrophe.
Later in life, you have enough history to know that tomorrow is likely to look considerably different.
You’ve survived difficult times before.
You’ve experienced disappointment.
You’ve made mistakes.
You’ve recovered.
You’ve laughed again.
That knowledge is valuable.
There Is Nothing Wrong With Looking Back
Sometimes we’re told that we should never look back.
I disagree.
Look back.
Enjoy the memories.
Look at old photographs. Tell the stories. Talk about the people who were important to you. Remember the places you’ve visited and the adventures you’ve had.
There is enormous pleasure in remembering.
But don’t make the mistake of believing that everything worthwhile happened before today.
Your memories belong to you.
They are part of your personal history, and nobody can take them away.
But they are not meant to become a museum in which you spend the rest of your life wandering around.
There are still chapters to be written.
And some of them may turn out to be surprisingly interesting.
The Future Doesn’t Have To Be Dramatic
One of the things we sometimes forget as we get older is that enjoying life doesn’t necessarily require a grand adventure.
You don’t have to climb Mount Everest.
You don’t have to learn to skydive.
You don’t have to sell your house and travel around the world in a recreational vehicle.
Although, if you want to do any of those things, please don’t let me stop you.
The future can be enjoyable in much simpler ways.
Learn something you’ve always been curious about.
Take up a hobby.
Join a walking group.
Volunteer.
Read a book you’ve been meaning to read.
Call an old friend.
Make a new friend.
Try a new restaurant.
Visit somewhere nearby you’ve somehow never gotten around to seeing.
Plant something.
Build something.
Write something.
Teach somebody something you know.
Or simply sit outside with a cup of coffee and appreciate the fact that you don’t have to rush off to work.
That last one deserves considerably more respect than it gets.
We Still Have Challenges Ahead
Growing older doesn’t mean life suddenly becomes challenge-free.
In fact, some challenges may become more complicated.
Technology changes at a ridiculous pace.
One day you understand your phone perfectly well, and the next day an update has moved everything you knew how to use.
You may occasionally stare at a television remote control containing enough buttons to launch a spacecraft and wonder why watching television has become an engineering exercise.
There may be financial concerns.
There may be changes in relationships.
There may be health considerations.
Friends and family members may need more help.
We may have to adjust to things we never expected to change.
But perhaps the goal isn’t to eliminate every challenge.
Perhaps it’s to meet those challenges with the same resilience that got us through the previous decades.
We’ve learned a lot.
We have more perspective.
And we’ve probably become considerably better at saying, “We’ll figure it out.”
That’s a pretty useful skill.
Gratitude Changes The View
Getting older can make us aware of things we once took for granted.
A good night’s sleep.
A comfortable chair.
A sunny morning.
A walk around the neighborhood.
A phone call from someone we love.
A meal shared with friends.
A quiet afternoon.
The ability to get up and go somewhere simply because we feel like it.
These things may not sound particularly exciting.
But perhaps that’s because we’re still measuring excitement by the standards of our younger years.
There comes a point when peace becomes exciting.
Freedom becomes exciting.
Having control over your own time becomes exciting.
Being able to spend Tuesday morning doing absolutely nothing—and not having to explain yourself to anyone—can be surprisingly luxurious.
We Don’t Have To Be Young Again
Perhaps the biggest mistake we can make is trying to recreate our youth.
We aren’t going back.
And why would we want to?
Being young had its advantages, certainly. But it also came with uncertainty, responsibilities, financial pressures, career worries, family obligations and an impressive collection of decisions we weren’t entirely sure how to make.
Today we have something different.
We have experience.
We have perspective.
We know ourselves better.
We know what matters to us—and perhaps just as importantly, what doesn’t.
We can be more selective about how we spend our time.
That’s an enormous advantage.
The goal isn’t to become a younger version of ourselves.
The goal is to become the best version of the person we are today.
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There Are Still Firsts Ahead
One of the most exciting things about the future is that we can still experience something for the first time.
Your first trip to a new place.
Your first attempt at a new hobby.
Your first online course.
Your first time volunteering somewhere.
Your first attempt at growing tomatoes.
Your first time discovering that you can do something you never thought you could.
Age doesn’t eliminate firsts.
It simply gives us a longer list of things we’ve already tried.
There are still plenty of blank spaces on the list.
Fill some of them.
Maybe These Really Are The Best Years
So, are these the best years of your life?
Perhaps.
But I don’t think we need to decide.
Life isn’t a competition between decades.
Your twenties don’t have to beat your sixties.
Your sixties don’t have to beat your seventies.
And your seventies don’t have to prove anything to your eighties.
Each period of life brings something different.
Youth gives us energy and possibility.
Middle age often gives us responsibility and accomplishment.
Later life can give us perspective, freedom and the opportunity to finally decide what we actually want to do with our time.
There will be limitations.
Let’s not pretend otherwise.
We may have to walk a little slower.
We may need more time to recover after doing something ambitious.
We may occasionally forget why we walked into a room.
And sometimes our knees will provide a more accurate weather forecast than the television.
That’s aging.
But aging is also waking up with another day ahead of you.
It’s having another conversation.
Another laugh.
Another book.
Another walk.
Another meal.
Another opportunity to learn something.
Another opportunity to make a difference in somebody else’s life.
The past deserves our gratitude.
It made us who we are.
But the future deserves something too: our attention.
So remember the good years. Laugh about the bad ones. Be grateful for the people, experiences and adventures that brought you here.
Then look forward.
There is still plenty of life left to enjoy.
And who knows?
The best years of your life may not be the ones you remember most fondly.
They may be the ones you haven’t lived yet.